DJ woke up to the smell of grits and eggs. He could tell that Payne must have been out of the bed for a while. He could hear Payne in the other room pecking away on his laptop and could see the fog and water on the floor from a shower Payne must have recently had in the bathroom.
DJ moved extremely slow as he tried to get out of the bed. His body was sore from the night before. He didn’t mind the pain because he felt pleasure from it and knew the feeling would fade shortly. As he moved he decided to greet Payne in the other room. DJ was still naked but didn’t think about that in this moment. He felt a sense of euphoria from the night before.
As DJ turned the corner from Payne’s bedroom to move into the other bedroom, he heard a small printer clicking. As DJ walked up, he noticed Payne was reviewing information related to his fraternity. DJ asked, “What are you doing?”
Payne was startled by DJ’s entrance but happy to see him. Payne motioned for DJ to come closer to him but didn’t turn around. DJ thought Payne wanted to show affection. Instead, Payne asked, “Do you know what this is?”
“Something for your fraternity. Oh, can I use your laptop so I can finish writing a speech I have to give later today?”
“Sure,” replied Payne. As Payne started talking, DJ grabbed the back of Payne’s neck. DJ really wanted to hug and kiss Payne but the best thing he could do in this moment was to give Payne a massage. As he gave Payne a massage, he noted the iron was hot. Payne was going to wear a suit and tie but only had on the shirt and pants. DJ assumed Payne had just ironed his white button down shirt. The iron was only about three feet away and to the left of them. To the right was the closet.
Once, DJ had to hide in this same closet when Payne’s chapter brothers surprised him one night to talk chapter business. He overheard them make fun of the lube they found in his bedroom. One brother playfully announced, “I always knew you were gay.” But Payne quickly covered and said, “You know I like porn bruh. Why you being dumb?”
Once, DJ had to hide in this same closet when Payne’s chapter brothers surprised him one night to talk chapter business. He overheard them make fun of the lube they found in his bedroom. One brother playfully announced, “I always knew you were gay.” But Payne quickly covered and said, “You know I like porn bruh. Why you being dumb?”
That exchange, as scary as it was because he would never want to be found in a man’s house hiding from another man, told him Payne was quick on his feet and was much too advanced with coming up with lies to cover things up. But to DJ, this lie was a white lie. Payne was safeguarding his reputation and his own manhood. This was something both of them understood. But it was something both of them hated.
DJ recalled how it wasn’t even a discussion about whether or not he should hide in the closet and how ironic that thought was. “Times have changed,” he thought. He wondered why he felt the need to hide then remembered he hadn’t told his mom yet. Neither had Payne. It was something else they had in common, that and the fact that neither really had a father. Both their fathers were dead and neither grew up with the presence of a father.
“This is all the history pledges learn throughout the process. I’m making a copy for you. Learn it by the end of the night. Keep it here because I’m taking it from you tonight. The key to my apartment is on the table. My chapter has a service project today and the guys on the current line are crossing tonight. I’ll probably be back pretty late because we also have a chapter meeting to follow. We will likely decide whether we have a line next semester tonight after they cross. At least that’s what I’m pushing for. Will I see you tonight,” asked Payne?
As Payne talked, DJ couldn’t help but wonder how their lives would have been different if their fathers were alive and present. Would they continue to hide this feeling or would they suppress it? DJ knew some of his cousins with fathers in the house had homosexual feelings but were living a life away from that. He wondered if living with a father made you suppress your true feelings, thereby making you weaker. Or, if living with a mother made you more open and conversely stronger. It was a dichotomy that DJ would spend some time in the recesses of his mind pondering for some time.
“Of course. But why are you giving me this information, Payne?”
“Because the more you mess up on line the longer your process. The longer your nights. I don’t have time for that. I need to see you every night and at a reasonable time, understand?”
DJ was caught off guard. Payne thought DJ was reacting because of how forceful his tone was. That was not a tactic that worked well for Payne in the past. Instead, DJ was shocked Payne was sharing information about the pledge process. Part of the allure of Epsilon was the mystery. Payne was demystifying a process that DJ felt he deserved. And yet, DJ wasn’t in a position to complain. DJ responded by saying, “I’ll start studying this as soon as I finish typing this speech for the coronation of Miss Dawn today.”
“Why do you have to give a speech for that?”
“Because Ivory is her escort, I have to fill in. And even if he does still give a speech it was my job to write it. It’s part of the tradition Vice Presidents have held over the years during Homecoming week.”
“Oh okay. But that’s not what I meant. I don’t understand why you all put so much effort into your Miss Dawn. Also, will everyone in Student Government be there?”
“I don’t know about everyone because they didn’t really communicate the information to Senators. You know Ivory is still running from them and their questions. He’s doing whatever he can to stay away from them. And about Miss Dawn, to me it’s really about how everything on campus glorifies men, from sports to even things like SGA. It’s a male dominated culture. But this is one area that is dominated by women and we glorify the strength, beauty, creativity and intelligence of the women we have at Dawn.”
As DJ filled Payne in on things regarding Homecoming and Miss Dawn, he remembered his need to talk to Payne about Angela. He could tell his point about Miss Dawn had been made so he decided not to continue with that discussion.
“Which reminds me, what’s the deal between you and Angela,” asked DJ?
“What do you mean,” quipped Payne?
“I’m saying, the two of you are spending too much time together. In the SGA office, all Angela does is talk about you and what you have said and how fine and sexy you are. She keeps asking me what I think about you and the possibility of you two. Now y’all are talking about fraternity business. I don’t know much about your organization but I know that doesn’t make much sense unless there is a lot of trust involved. So what’s the deal? I tried not to overreact but after last night I think I deserve to know the truth.”
Payne was caught off guard. Payne was wondering why this issue was coming up now. He also wondered why it mattered. Payne didn’t think of DJ as his boyfriend but maybe as someone he was dating. So he understood where DJ was coming from. It was his natural inclination to lie in this moment but he knew DJ could sense when he lied. Instead, Payne decided to tell enough of the truth without pissing DJ off.
“Well, I don’t see how this is any of your business but Angela and I do talk. We talk everyday. We actually talk more than you and I do. Sometimes we talk while you are here.”
“Do you realize she thinks you two are dating because you talk so much?”
“No she doesn’t.”
“Payne, yes she does. She has even described your apartment to me.” DJ decided to throw all his cards on the table. He didn’t have time for Angela and he already decided he wanted Payne. DJ had to get rid of her. But he also couldn’t afford to make a big deal out of the situation right now.
Payne was shocked at how pointed DJ’s accusations were. DJ’s style was basically to keep asking questions until Payne messed up. This time, DJ was volunteering information. He was on the offense and Payne knew he couldn’t withstand an assault from DJ.
“We talk. Do I think she likes me? Yes, I do. Do we talk about things or even you? Yes. Has she been here with her suitemates because they were doing a book report and needed to use Wesley’s library? Yes. You know our library is better than Dawn’s. It’s clear to me she believes we are something but I don’t indulge her. She’s like a little sister to me.”
“I really don’t care what happened in the past. I know you are still attracted to women but I can’t be in competition with anyone. I also know you aren’t telling me everything. And if I’m going to be in competition with someone it can’t be someone I’ve known since my freshman year. That ain't cool bruh. She’s thinking about running for SGA president and it’s not really something I want but it’s an option for me.”
Payne broke out with his patented chesire cat smile. Instinctively, DJ knew lies were about to spew out of his mouth. DJ braced himself for what was to follow.
“I promise you, DJ, there is nothing between us.”
“Payne, let me put it to you like this. I know too much. I know more about you than she ever could. Don’t make a fool out of me or I will react. That’s not a threat. That’s just a promise. So keep talking to her all you want. But if I find proof there is more to it than what you’re saying than just prepare yourself for what will follow.”
Payne’s smile turned into a look of dismay. He couldn’t believe DJ had flipped like that. But there was something in the warning that Payne found alluring. He loved it. Payne immediately stood up and lightly spun around on the right side of DJ’s body and simultaneously grabbed his arms to turn him a little so they were standing face to face.
DJ was still naked and afraid of being burned by the iron so his left leg braced for any weight Payne might apply. But Payne lost his balance a little as he spun and he fell backwards pulling DJ with him. Neither fell on the floor but onto the packed closet of clothes. After they got up, DJ noticed some of his precum got onto Payne’s pant suit but DJ liked the idea of it there so he didn’t tell Payne. They both laughed about the fall and kissed each other.
Payne was tempted to get a quick session in but knew it was too soon to ask. Instead they used the rest of their time talking and getting to know about each other’s family for a while.
As they talked, Payne finished his breakfast, made a few calls and finished dressing for the day’s activities.
Once Payne left, DJ worked on his speech. All that was left was the finishing touches. DJ had a way with words so once things started to flow they really did fly. That was a good thing because the entire time he worked his mind was on the information he was assigned to learn by Payne by the end of the night.
Once he finished with his speech he practiced it a few times. He typically practiced by reading to himself several times to make certain things made sense. Then he practiced it out loud to ensure it had a certain rhythm and matched the vibrato of his voice. While he practiced he got a text from Toni that read: “It’s been a whole month and the Senate hasn’t done anything yet. Wtf!”
This aggravated DJ because he warned Toni this would not be easy. Plus, with Homecoming upon them, DJ made a decision not to pursue the issue because the campus needed to concentrate on that and no one would really deal with impeachment under such a circumstance. Plus, he counted all the senators’ votes. He knew he was one vote short.
“Toni, I told you this wasn’t going to be easy. The Senate doesn’t have the votes.”
“Oh I know those weak ass senators aren’t going to impeach him. I just wanna lay it all out and see him squirm.”
“Okay. If you want to lay it all out then you can get that. But realize he has never attended any Senate meeting. But I suggest you contact the campus newspaper. That’s the only way all of the story can get out.”
“Oh I’m already talking to the Editor in Chief of the Spectrum. She is all over it.”
“Toni! Wtf have you done? Have you implicated me in this at all?”
“No! She doesn’t even care about SGA. No one thinks yall are gonna do anything.”
“If only you knew why.”
“Why?”
DJ knew he fucked up then. He shouldn’t have admitted that over text. And yet Toni asked him a question so he felt obligated to answer her.
“The Senators who will block it are all trying to submit to become members of Epsilon and EZE. There are three who want to pledge Epsilon and two who want to pledge EZE sorority. And to be honest, there is another who I know wants to be an EZE but I think she’s pushing me not to advance the issue so she won’t have to vote on it. If it comes to a vote, however, I know she will vote to impeach him.”
“DJ, you should have called me about all of this. It’s so confusing.” Two seconds later, DJ received a call from Toni.
Toni began by saying, “Hello.”
“Hello, Toni.” DJ didn’t have time. He had to finish practicing his speech, shower, dress, drive back to Dawn and still had to find time to study before leaving Payne’s apartment.
“It’s not the kind of thing most people can understand. And what’s so bad is these are the people who are the leaders within the Senate. My own friends Demarco and John, the damn Pro-Tempore of the Senate, the lead senator, would be my biggest competition. He knows as much about parliamentary procedures as I do. That’s another reason why I wasn’t in a rush to have a meeting about this. I had to be ready for any trick he might throw at senators. As the presiding officer, I can’t make any motions. Senators have to be prepared to match him. They aren’t ready. They would fail before they even started.”
“That ain’t right DJ. I mean who the fuck do they think they are? Why should their wants get in the way of what’s right? I mean this man really fucked me. You know. He fucked me DJ. He fucked me good. And now all yall Epsilon wanna be’s are gonna fuck me too.”
“You should ask that question during the meeting next week. Please don’t talk about him fucking you though. Please. And I’m here helping you. I’m not working against you. We both want to see Ivory out of office. What I worry is that our reasons for wanting him gone are not the same.”
“This meeting is called to order,” proclaimed DJ. DJ did a lot of work in preparation for tonight’s Senate meeting. He spoke with all the senators recounting votes and making calls to remind them of the meeting.
DJ knew he couldn’t match John Ross, the Senate Pro-Tempore’s, skills at parliamentary procedures if DJ chaired the meeting. However, Robert’s Rules or Order encourages the presiding officer to help anyone who needs the help. That was his only recourse and it wasn’t going to be easy.
He didn’t trust Senators to keep quiet about his plans to help them so from what he sees in the attendance he knew that tactic was a good one on his part because there were too many spectators present. However, he had to hope senators caught on to his plan. But he didn’t have much hope in that.
The meeting room was a mixture of reds and yellow, the school’s colors. All chairs were red with a broad back on each. There were twenty-one chairs on the left-hand side for senators and about fifteen chairs for other students, all red. The carpet was also a mixture of reds and yellows. At the front of the room was a large round table where DJ and Danielle always sat.
On the wood stained and glossed table was an assortment of reports for senators and other students to grab upon their entrance. Behind the table and above DJ’s head was the yellow seal for Dawn. The Union had just reopened following remodeling so everything was brightly colored, new and carried a clean smell even from the plush carpet.
Senators, gossipers and reporters all sat in their designated seats. It was like a funeral processional. It was quiet and orderly. Everyone could feel the energy in the room and it wasn’t excitement. Everyone knew some sort of battle was about to occur but most people did not know who from. DJ felt a heavy burden because he was one of only a few people who knew what was really happening tonight.
Toni was in attendance and so were reporters from the campus paper, the Spectrum. The Senate was full of all its twenty members. In order to impeach Ivory, one member of the five had to jump ship. DJ was hopeful that the weakest link would have been Demarco, one of his closest friends. Ivory’s chief of staff, Chris, was present but of course Ivory was not to be found.
Chelsea, DJ’s best friend and legislative aid to the Senate was present. By practice, she never had to attend but she knew this meeting was going to be poppin. But DJ also wondered if Chelsea or even Chris was present because it afforded them the ability to be in public and no one question it. Danielle, one of DJ and Chelsea’s friends and Clerk of the Senate, attended all meetings. Somehow, Toni’s “ambush” got out. The element of surprise was lost. At this point everything he was trying to do might be lost. But he was going to fight as much as the senators allowed him to. Once DJ dedicated himself to something he remained committed.
DJ no longer had to worry about whether the Epsilons from Dawn would take him for trying to bring their frat brother down publicly. He empathized with the position his friends found themselves facing. If he weren’t having sex with the president of the Epsilons at Wesley he most likely would not have put himself in the position he knew he was about to put himself in, but he was grateful for the opportunity it afforded him. This was the right course of action, no matter the consequences. Ivory should not have purchased personal clothes with student funds without permission from the senate.
DJ’s greatest concern at the moment was conducting a meeting he knew was going to be unruly. He knew he would have to do battle with John. DJ and John were roommates the year before and were extremely close. At one point, DJ considered both John and Chelsea to be his two best friends. Both John and DJ served as senators in SGA the year before as well. John enjoyed arguing but both relished the idea of outsmarting the other. To some extent, both had sufficiently met their match.
DJ knew John had an idea of his true sexuality and for some reason never told anyone. DJ appreciated that fact so their bond grew almost to a point where they were inseparable last year. DJ felt a bit of attraction for John but did a very good job of pushing that aside for the sake of their friendship. His feelings for John were strong enough that he never wanted to hurt him purposely.
Obviously, DJ suspected John was gay too. One night last year, DJ happened to see John leaving Harry’s room. John was talking to Harry like they were familiar and more than that they were talking about going out. Harry was keeping both of their secrets.
Of course, the thought of Harry - DJ’s savior the evening Tommy followed him into the shower room - brought back the story Payne told DJ about his rape. DJ was momentarily distracted by all these thoughts.
DJ was so distracted he almost missed John’s quick maneuver to reject the agenda as printed. Once DJ realized what John was up to he couldn’t hide his anger. In effect, John was attempting to end or null the meeting before it even started. But DJ was quick.
DJ addressed John by his title and not as Senator Ross, as had been his practice all year. He was attempting to remind John of his higher obligations. Also, it was another signal to John that what was happening was not personal, all business. Other members of Student Government noticed the change but only a few senators understood the tactic but they would not help DJ tonight.
“Pro-Tempore Ross, your motion was never recognized by the chair.”
John seemed hurt by that. John had always assumed DJ would have followed suit. For a moment, John thought DJ didn’t understand what he was trying to do. It wasn’t until DJ added, “The chair will now entertain a motion to accept the agenda as printed,” that John knew they were on opposing sides.
At this point, all senators knew something was wrong but no one but DJ and John understood the implication of this volley of parliamentary procedures. The entire school year, DJ relied upon John to help move all legislation because of his knowledge of parliamentary procedures. It was something senators had grown accustomed with.
DJ’s actions angered John and that hurt DJ immeasurably. DJ knew he was shattering his relationship with John but he wanted to do what was right. This time, John rose his hand and waited to be acknowledged. Because of his relationship with John and the questioning eyes of everyone in attendance, DJ felt obliged to recognize him knowing it might cause a problem for him. John stood and immediately announced, “Division of the House.”
DJ’s eyes flared! He couldn’t believe what John was doing. He had every right to do it but it was also in that moment that DJ realized John’s tactic was simply to delay the issue. But everyone in the room saw DJ’s reaction.
DJ had built up a reputation with senators. They trusted him. They never knew where DJ stood with respect to the issue of impeaching Ivory but in that moment they all knew where the fault lines were. DJ could sense their hopes were automatically transferred onto him. For the first time that evening, DJ feared the outcome. He did not want to disappoint anyone and yet he knew the outcome of this meeting weeks ago.
DJ composed himself and said the following, “Senators, a division of the house is when a member, Pro-Tempore Ross, basically says he believes the chair, me, has used his authority against the best wishes of the majority of this body, you, the Senate. If you stand with Pro-Tempore Ross you are saying you agree that I have misused my authority as President of the Senate. In effect, you are saying you do not respect me in the night’s meeting.”
Senators were puzzled now. While they understood DJ was trying to help them they weren’t altogether impressed with how DJ handled the situation. And yet they had to decide how to proceed.
“So, please stand if you feel I have misused my authority,” commanded DJ. Inside himself, DJ did not trust Senators. He truly felt this to be the end of his fight - before it even started.
Three senators stood. DJ looked relieved. Senators also looked relieved because they were confused about what to do. Seeing his relieved look brought them comfort. “Madames Clerk and Secretary, please let the record show that the motion has failed.”
DJ decided to call his bluff, go on the offensive and do exactly what John didn’t want to happen. He called a male senator up to his chair who had always let his intentions known about the matter. He whispered and asked him to “suspend the rules to allow Toni Howard to address the Student Senate.” The senator didn’t know who she was or her relevance. DJ begged him to simply trust him. From that very spot, the senator asked for DJ’s attention and moved to suspend the rules to allow Toni to speak. A chorus of senators seconded the motion.
It was then that a reporter from the campus newspaper, the Spectrum, stood and remarked, “All these maneuverings are entertaining but when does the Senate impeach Ivory? We have a deadline.”
This irritated all senators. They openly mused whether they should have reporters removed. DJ reminded them they would then violate the reporters’ 1st Amendment rights. This realization tamed the Senate. Again, this open defiance and full agreement about something from all senators emboldened DJ.
DJ introduced Toni as the immediate past Loan Director for SGA. He explained how it was she who handed out the information detailing SGA purchases by Ivory for clothes. How she helped purchase the clothes. DJ even admitted how a student brought information to him over the summer and how he confronted Ivory and their advisor only to be lied to.
By doing this, DJ legitimized her presence and sealed his fate with the Epsilons at Dawn. Senators agreed with DJ to suspend the rules to allow her to speak. At this point, John and all the other hopefuls - like Demarco, wishing to become members of Epsilon and EZE - were visibly and audibly annoyed. All were annoyed except Demarco.
Demarco was there the night DJ first learned about Ivory’s escapades with Toni. In fact, it was just this summer when DJ told all his friends about what the student said about the clothes. DJ told Demarco that he planned to confront Ivory about this. Demarco understood finally why Toni was standing before them.
DJ made an audible sigh of relief. He knew now that Demarco made the connections. But Demarco is a logical thinker. Understanding the background is one thing but putting everything together is another issue. At the very least, DJ knew he had not lost his friend with what was about to happen.
Before DJ allowed Toni to speak, he stood from his seat, which was not something DJ normally did. DJ did this to bring more attention to what he would say next. DJ cautioned her, “Be careful not to make this a circus or you will lose what you seek to have happen. Remember, as senators they can only vote on matters that are impeachable. Present evidence such as what you have in your hands.” DJ was referencing the copies of the receipts from clothes purchased and was also leading Toni, helping Toni with her arguments.
DJ hoped she would have been classy. But, knowing her as he did he knew that wouldn’t happen. He could only hope for the best. He needed Toni to present the flyers. He needed her to ask Chris if that was Ivory’s signature on the copies in her hands. He needed her to connect the dots that he couldn’t because he was stuck in that chair. Again, he knew he was hoping for a lot.
“My name is Toni Howard. As Vice President DJ Holmes told you, I was the Loan Director until Ivory fired me after we had sex. He was my boyfriend’s best friend. We had sex a lot. I went down on him in the SGA office and everything. You should impeach him for that.” This was Toni’s opening statement.
DJ was amazed. The entire room was amazed. The reporters from the Spectrum immediately walked out. She was oblivious to her actions. By the time she stopped talking at least three senators left. While she continued to embarrass herself, DJ would run outside to beg senators to stay until the end. One senator was in tears.
“You know, DJ, please don’t tell anyone. But Ivory did something similar to me as well. I’m not foolish enough to make a spectacle out of it but as soon as she started talking like that after you warned her I knew all was lost. You did too. Everyone did. Why did you bring her up? Why,” asked the female senator?
“Because there were not enough votes. Senators continued to ask me why we hadn’t done anything. I kept telling all of you that you had to bring something up in black and white. None of you did that. None. I don’t have the power you have to speak up during meetings or to bring legislation. This was the only trick I had to spur you all into action. I just didn’t know she would be so reckless.”
“Why didn’t you coach someone?”
“Come on. Who could I coach that could withstand John? But what most people don’t know is there were never enough votes to impeach Ivory. Five senators would never have voted to impeach him.”
“Yeah. I don’t know why they’re doing that. I’m in EZE and we don’t even like Ivory like that. Clearly you don’t want to be an Epsilon so I can say that to you now. No one from either chapter is supporting Ivory as SGA President. His chapter is still cool with him but not as SGA President.”
DJ was crushed. He stuck his neck out for a cause he knew he would lose and now all he has done is angered the dean of the next line, Ivory. There is no way he could pledge at Dawn now. Even if they chose him, Ivory would make it a living hell for DJ.
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